#35 MY SECOND THERMOFLO TREATMENT

The nurse administering my treatment was a kind and caring woman. She had me lie down. As she started the machine, she put on soft meditation music and I told her it was lovely. She replied, “Oh, thank you! I searched it up and decided to put it on whenever I do these treatments – it helps to relax me, too!”

Today there would be no Beta-dyne brushed on first to irritate my eyes. I closed my eyes as she squeezed out a cool gel over them. The machine began to hum. I could have been in a dentist’s chair, but instead I was having my eyelids brushed.

She said, “After four minutes I am going to press harder. It shouldn’t hurt – but I am trying to express the oils thoroughly that way.”

I asked her if she would see the oil being released. She explained that it showed up as a cloudy yellowish color. The clear gel changed as the oil mixed into it. At the end she actually showed it to me and I took a picture.

She told me that she had time to research some of my questions. One of them was how this differed from Lipoflow. She said that Lipiflow was more invasive; that it required anesthetizing the eye and having a barrier lens put on as protection during the treatment. I didn’t know that.

My HMO did not yet commit to buy this $23,000 machine. I was one of 14 test subjects. Other than me, only one other person did not report relief after treatment. But I was hopeful that this second treatment would be different without using the Beta-dyne that possibly irritated my eyes the last time.

In two weeks, I had a third treatment scheduled. It would follow a visit with my dry eye doctor.

For 30 minutes the nurse chatted while she massaged my eyelids. When she applied more pressure, it didn’t hurt – but it wasn’t that pleasant. Finally, she was done. I sat up slowly and opened my eyes.

Her stories of people gasping with clearer vision didn’t uplift me. I blinked and the residual gel made my eyes blurry. I knew it took time for that to clear.

I thanked that sweet nurse with a hug and promised I’d let her know later in the day how my eyes felt.

The afternoon wore on and I didn’t feel anything remarkable. In fact, my eyes felt slightly sore. I tried to push that thought aside. By evening there was no doubt; my eyes were terribly irritated.

The feeling was familiar – discouragement and spiraling depression. A remedy offered hope and relief. A failed remedy set me way back. The fallout of pain left me thinking that there was little else left to try.

Why couldn’t I have been one of those lucky patients who found relief?

That question was one I didn’t want to ask. But it kept shouting in my head.

I promised the nurse I would let her know how I was doing. I typed out a message and she sent me a reply to follow.

A setback won’t put me back where I started, although sometimes it feels that way.

Even though I feel knocked down, I’m not going to give up my hope. I’ve already traveled farther away from the pain of when this awful condition began. A setback won’t put me back where I started, although sometimes it feels that way.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#33 I WENT WITH THE THERMOFLO

Everything was harder when my eyes were bothering me. I was having one of those mornings where I felt so down. I wanted to be productive, but it was impossible because I couldn’t really open my eyes.

I was still scratching a few scabby hives and decided to use the steroid drop because I desperately wanted my eyes to feel better. I wasn’t really sure that those eye drops had caused my itching problem.

When my phone rang, I was surprised – it was a nurse who worked with my dry eye doctor. I had forgotten that at my last appointment, my doctor mentioned a trial study with a new machine. It was non invasive and free. I told her I was definitely interested.

The nurse explained that the test procedure involved three treatments over a period of one month. She wondered if I was available that day or the next. I couldn’t believe it; it was the perfect thing for me to do on a day where I felt miserable. I told her I was more than ready. In only a few hours I might find some relief. There was nothing better than having hope again.

I hung up the phone and the first thing I wanted to do was share about it on my dry eye support group site. Within a few minutes, there were a dozen messages of encouragement. I was so touched and felt excited because perhaps this might help others once I shared about it.

I arrived promptly for my 11:30 a.m. appointment. The nurse ushered me in sweetly. I didn’t have to sign any papers or pay anything at all. I felt like a celebrity almost.

It was explained to me that I only needed to lie back and relax. My eyelids were going to be massaged with a tool that reached 108 degrees; the oil in my clogged meibomium glands would be softened and released. I closed my eyes; Beta-dyne was dabbed on first, followed by a thick gel. The machine looked like an electric toothbrush with space for my eyelashes.

 

 

The nurse explained that the Beta-dyne did bother some of the other prior patients. It was used to counter any bacteria that might be released from the glands.

 

She said there were 14 patients in the study. Only one person reported that the treatment did nothing while the others found great improvement with dry eyes and even their vision.

 

The whole experience was filled with hope. I needed hope badly and couldn’t believe the timing. I asked the nurse if it were possible for someone to take a picture. I explained that my dry eye support group was eager to hear about this.

The nurse was more than willing. She gave permission for lots of pictures and suggested I could even scan the brochure she had for me.

A timer went off after about 15 minutes. She switched to my other eye.

As she massaged my eyelids, she talked about many things related to dry eyes. I heard her mention the name of my cataract surgeon and felt myself flinch.

I was more than frustrated when I developed this condition after my surgery. I felt my surgeon was “done with me” and upset that he wasn’t more compassionate. But now, I heard that this surgeon suffered so much from Meibomium Gland Disease that he walked around the clinic with a microwaved potato wrapped in a paper towel over his eyes. That piece of information alone was very ironic for me.

It was time for me to sit up and blink. The room was blurry because of the gel. The nurse said that it would go away soon. She asked me how I felt. I didn’t know what to say – I wasn’t really sure. I wanted to say I felt fabulous, but it wasn’t the case. I felt a sting and mentioned it.

She said, “That’s probably from the Beta-dyne. Next time we don’t plan to use it. It bothered a lot of other patients but to be consistent in the study – I had to use it on you for the first treatment.”

For the rest of the day, I couldn’t believe how many wonderful comments were written on my dry eye post. I wrote back to everyone, but I had to be honest – I was a bit disappointed. My eyes were still bothering me.

However, I still had two more treatments – it was too soon to give up hope.

The next day, my eyes worsened. Now I had to consider that the treatment irritated them. It was very disappointing.

The nurse who performed the procedure sent me a message asking how I was doing. I was honest. She wrote back: “I am so sorry that you did not get relief. Thank you for not giving up. I hope that we have better luck at next week’s appointment.”

All of the messages from my support group helped me very much. I learned that another woman with dry eyes had an allergy problem with her eyelids similar to mine. She had discovered that her allergen was dust mites. I wondered if that could be my problem. It was definitely another avenue to investigate.

One member told me that she was pulling for me and wanted a link to this  blog. My dry eye blog was simply a place where I could vent about my eye problems. It was therapy for me to freely share and complain.

Later on she wrote this to me:

“Judy, I just read most of this at work! It’s beautiful! My eyes definitely got tears at times. I’m going to go light a candle for you tonight.”

If she only knew how many tears her words brought me.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#32 WAS IT RASH TO TRY STEROIDS?

A week after my eyes were feeling better, I developed an outbreak of hives. I was itching and miserable. Anytime I didn’t feel well, my eyes were affected. But I stayed as positive as I could.

Gradually the itchy welts subsided. The Manuka honey eye drops named Optimel arrived and only a few drops irritated my eyes. I stopped after two days.

At this point, I offered the expensive Manuka drops to anyone interested in trying them in my dry eye support group. I also offered several boxes of artificial tears and eyelid wipes. I shipped them off to two different people and received effusive thank you messages. It felt good to help others by sharing something I wasn’t going to use. I didn’t accept any money for postage.

My eyes were still better doing less. I didn’t miss compresses or eyelid wipes. Sometimes I longed for an artificial tear to wet my eyes. But I knew that it wouldn’t help at all and would make my irritation worse.

The sample bottles with steroids were eventually all used up. The Alrex and Lotemax had little effect, unlike the Durezol. I was on a new path of doing nothing for my eyes. It wasn’t perfect, but far improved.

I was worried that my eye pressure might have increased. The soonest appointment for me to see my ophthalmologist was in 3 months. I decided to go see an optometrist. I’d be able to check my eye prescription and find out my eye pressure at the same time. Another idea I had, was to try soft contact lenses.

The optometrist was friendly and my eye pressure was not any higher. My eye prescription had changed again so I ordered two new pairs of glasses.

Adjusting to soft contact lenses was more challenging than I expected. I had worn hard lenses until my cataract surgery – for almost forty years.

The soft lenses weren’t painful, but putting them in and taking them out was stressful and required a lot of patience. The problem was the prescription didn’t work well for me. I couldn’t seem to adjust to powerful vision in the distance and blurriness up to five feet in front of me. The optometrist gave me many samples to try (I’m still trying.)

Three months later, I finally saw my regular dry eye doctor. I asked her for the one steroid drop that had helped me, Durezol. It was not available through my HMO, so she prescribed something else and said it was almost the same thing, Prednisolone Acetate.

After two days using the Prednisolone, my eyes didn’t feel better at all. I experienced tunnel vision. And then I broke out in a rash like I had three months earlier. Was it possible a steroid eye drop could cause this? It seemed so unlikely, but at the same time it was very coincidental.

I looked into side effects for Prednisolone and didn’t see anything about a rash – it seemed pretty far-fetched, but tunnel vision turned out to be a possible side effect.

And Prednisolone had an irritating preservative in it, one that Durezol didn’t have. I called my doctor and she was willing to prescribe Durezol. I was happy until I was told it would cost $140 for that bottle. I let my doctor know the cost and she said I wouldn’t have to pay that thankfully – my HMO would cover it with an exemption.

I used it sparingly and decided to stop when I made the connection to having the rash. It took a few days for me to realize the coincidence.

It was so frustrating. I was scratching my welts and wishing I could use the Durezol to help my eyes feel better. I didn’t want to use it until the rash was gone. I was also eating too much. It helped me cope in many ways but depressed me even further.

I contacted my regular doctor and asked if he could order blood tests to see if anything was wrong with me. The tests all came back negative; my doctor told me everything was ok.

I sure didn’t feel okay and wondered what to do next.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#31 LESS IS MORE

The relief that I felt after my appointment with a new eye specialist surprised me. I had low expectations and little hope. I had only made this appointment because my cousin pushed me. I had called her and cried when she asked me how my eyes were. She insisted her doctor could help me. My cousin’s eye doctor was far away and referred me to this new one.

Initially, I was a little anxious to use steroid eye drops that the new doctor gave me. In the past, one caused a bad reaction. Plus, an eye doctor I had seen a year earlier suspected that I had Glaucoma. I hoped I wasn’t doing anything risky since steroid drops could increase eye pressure. But I trusted this new doctor and planned to follow up having my pressures checked. The soonest appointment with my regular HMO eye specialist was in three months, unfortunately.

Until then, I was so thrilled that my eyes weren’t aggravating me throughout the day. I wanted to shout out with elation, “I am cured!!!” Unfortunately, it wasn’t like that. I was aware of them still, even though they were so much better overall.

I let the new doctor know that I had found improvement. Of the three steroid samples he gave me, only one really helped. It was called “Durezol.” The other two were Lotemax and Alrex.

He told me that Durezol was the strongest and that his suspicions were confirmed. I did indeed have an allergy. I asked him, “How do I know what I’m allergic to?” His response was that I was the best judge of that.

When the Durezol bottle ran out, I had a few bad days. I was discouraged but not hopeless anymore. I emailed the doctor to update him and to ask him for advice on what to do next, but he didn’t reply.

I longed for artificial tears but avoided them. I still continued to use Restasis but noticed that with the momentary relief of any eye drop (including Restasis), within a short time my eyes began to burn and hurt. The eyelid wipes that I had relied on were actually one of the worst irritants for my eyes.

Eventually, I called and reached the doctor a week later. I told him my suspicions – I was allergic to the wipes and all eye drops. I asked him what to use to wipe my eyes instead and he recommended baby shampoo. I tried his recommendation of Clariton, but wasn’t really sure if it made a difference or not. On days where my eyelids felt more inflamed, I took Clariton.

I began to learn that there was a difference between my dry eye pain and eyelid pain. The dry eye pain was something I felt every morning when I woke up. I had stopped using gel at night because I realized that the gel also affected my eyelids. Thankfully, with blinking my morning dry eye pain went away.

It was the eyelid pain that really drove me crazy. I felt sensations in my eyes, burning and heaviness – almost like I had stickers on my eyelashes.

I can tell that my eyes are feeling better because I am able to open them more.

This was definitely a twist for me after feeling hopeless. For over a year, I had given up on finding a doctor or remedy that would save me. But really, I was seeking answers and trying things again – so I had saved myself!

And this was definitely an example of “less is more,” a concept that fits into so many areas of my life.

It turns out that my friend Carol also realized the same thing about her regimen, which I shared on my last post. Her eyes were feeling better as a result of doing less. It was so ironic that we both reached the same conclusion around the same time. Sadly for Carol, the revelation of this came after being hospitalized. She had had a bad reaction to medication that was life threatening. How upsetting is was that trusting a doctor and medication could end up being risky instead of helpful.

The paleo diet I had adopted for three months hadn’t made a significant difference, but at least it hadn’t harmed me at all. Much of it was healthier. I eased back into a less restricted diet, but still avoided coffee and artificial sweeteners on a regular basis. So many of the remedies I had tried had hurt my eyes. Now it made sense. My eyelids were so sensitive and affected by every remedy I’d tried.

I had another one in my back pocket, though. I had ordered Optimel eye drops and they were coming from Australia. They were made from Manuka honey and I was willing to try them.

It was a great thing for me to have hope again!

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#29 ALL OF MY TEARS

This post is taken from my Facebook Dry Eye Support Group. I am sharing something that actually carries a little bit of humor.

LORI: Seriously? I have a drop for every occasion!

SUSAN: Nice stash! I know. I have about six different ones myself, including the ones that didn’t work!

LORI: My hubby says my bathroom looks like an isle at Walmart!

‪JOYCE: Did you break into my house?

CAROL: Looks like my closet. Plus some.‪

MARGARET: I have a few too. But mostly stick with two.

JUDY: Oh, drop it! I sensed your post was “dripping” with sarcasm. I sure wish I had something more “refreshing” to add! (I love puns!)‪‪

LORI: You’re awesome Judy!

JUDY: Aw! It’s nice to know my puns are appreciated. My puns appear in the “blink of an eye!” But I just can’t “Systane” them!

LORI: I actually have eye drops on my shopping list today and my husband says ARE YOU SERIOUS? Lol. I think I need a 12-step program.

‪CAROL: There’s probably a 12 Step Drop lol!!‪

KOSTA: The first step to beating addiction is admitting you have a problem.‪

JUDY: I think it’s the other way around. We already know we have a problem and the “addiction” is really just a desperate coping measure!

‪ KOSTA: Judy, you’re right.

‪LORI: I put drops in when I’m alone. I hide the amount of times I put drops in from my friends/family. I lie about the $$$$$$$$$$ I spend on my drops to my husband. I sneak around to different stores when I find a sale on drops but I don’t have a problem though. I could stop if I wanted to . . .

DONNA: This whole post is cracking me up!!! My dear friends, I needed a laugh!!!!

JUDY: Me, too. I think laughter is so healing and big help in dealing with chronic pain.

‪© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#25 DON’T GIVE UP!

Nothing has made me sadder on my support group site than hearing about suffering from young people. I am thankful that I had so many years of freedom from chronic irritation and pain that currently rules my life.

A young girl in her early 20’s from the Netherlands (I’ll call her “H”) wrote these posts on the support group site:

H: How can you cope with the psychological results of horrible dry eyes? Even though my eyes don’t itch or burn terribly, I can’t focus on anything. I never feel myself, or ever good and healthy. I did some depression tests they all turned out that I might have severe depression and I must consult for help. I can’t use an antidepressant because of their side effects. I always think about my problems and get ill and shout at my family members because of fatigue and the mess in my head. I am emotionally destroyed. I live with my family, but they don’t support me. They even don’t understand me. I feel lonely, too.

This young girl’s post struck a chord with many of the other support group members. Many people offered support and suggestions.

L: Very sorry. Nobody gets it. I just want to crawl into bed. But mindfulness does help. We will find answers.

Judy: It is a tragedy that you are so young and suffering. This dry eye disease simply sucks! I’m so sorry! When this all started, I wished that a doctor would “rescue” me. How disappointed I was. Instead, I realized that I must rescue myself. Mindfulness is a perfect word.

‪L: I learned the 4 ” A’s”: ACKNOWLEDGE that the dry eye is a painful issue and very real. ALLOW that it isn’t great, that I am not pleased with it and it pretty much sucks…ACCEPT that I was dealt this hand in life…and ADAPT!!

How can I be as proactive as possible to make the best possible outcome from this…that I cannot wear makeup any more ( and was a make-up artist!?)…that maybe I have to find another source of income…that I can just ” be” with the sensation and not ” snowball” or catastrophize what WILL happen…a new ” normal”…and that through meditation I can control my pain levels. It took a long time…but there is a type of peace.

Unfortunately, too many doctors are simply ignorant of this very disabling and complex disease. Adapting is key.

Judy: “L,” I love what you wrote. That is so true – it actually applies to grief and this condition has been a grief process for me. I lost a child many years ago, so I know what it means to struggle for acceptance and adaptation. Here are some other “A” words that came into my mind. ALONE – Dry eyes have isolated me and this group keeps me from feeling alone with it. AGONY – the feeling that I can’t take it any longer and discouragement about living this way. ASTRONOMICAL – what this condition can cost over time. But your 4 “A’s” are a beautiful and upbeat way to turn it around.

I wish I could help you more, “H.” I know you suffer greatly, as many people on the site do. It is a horrible condition to live with.

H: Yes, it is horrible. I am so depressed now. Nothing or no one can help me.

Judy:  It seems like everyone has to find their own personal remedy to help their eyes. Two things that have helped me with depression and my eyes are: taking a walk, swimming and music. Don’t give up! Find your motivation to search for something that will help you. It is resting at the moment because it is very hard to fight all the time. But I know you will get it back. And when you do, you will find relief somehow somewhere. 

It’s that way for all of us.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#22 Judy and Carol

In July of 2015, I started to correspond with Carol. She was a new friend from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

Judy, I really appreciate your blog! It has a lot of helpful information, as well as some hope. Thanks and best wishes.

Carol, you have no idea how much that means to me. I look forward to reading more about what you have gone through. It is definitely one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with and I’ve gone through some other tough stuff in my life.

Judy, your writings have helped me think I may make it through yet another bad day when there have been so many days I want to give up. This is such a tough situation to cope with and I am just beginning to realize I will NOT have life as I knew it back. Since you are three years out from the beginning it really does hold out some hope. But it will be a hard struggle. Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences and I hope that you do very well!! You are so talented!!!

Thank you, Carol. I’ve come through losing a child and realizing that my life would never be the same after that. There’s nothing good about these life adjustments except to find the strength to get through them.

For me, dry eyes have left me very vulnerable and depressed. I’m a big believer that thoughts equal feelings. So I’ve worked hard to think in a positive way. First off, you are not alone. I never like the thought that “it could be worse.” But I have come to see that I am very blessed that I am able to still drive and do my work. My eyes blur, fog and hurt – but I’ve become much better at distracting myself from that.

My goal is to find joy in life despite this condition. My eyes are not like they were before my surgery, but like scars I carry – it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did.

Keep searching for your remedy. It’s there – never give up. I know that one woman in our group was in horrible pain and now is okay. She found a diet that helped her. Something that really helped me was to drink a lot of water. I also use Genteal gel when I go to sleep.

I’ve tried so many things and plan to keep searching. It’s so discouraging when things set me back – it’s a risk I deal with since my eyes are so sensitive.

But mindset makes the biggest difference!

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#21 MY FRIEND, CAROL

My eyes weren’t great. I often looked at the dry eye support group as a place where other understood what I was going through. I didn’t have much to say.

But sometimes I felt compelled to write. There was a message from a new member named Carol. She mentioned that her dry eye problems happened after surgery; that was the same thing that had happened to me. I welcomed her into the group. (Her words are in blue)

July 6, 2015

My name is Carol and I’m so glad to find this site. I was diagnosed with dry eye after having eye surgery 5 months ago. I have been so miserable that my quality of life is gone. But reading others stories is helpful. It does seem like this has total control of my existence at this point. How do you cope???

This is a great site. My dry eyes also came on after eye surgery. It has been about three years now. It’s a journey! I am so sorry because that is the biggest struggle when it impacts our quality of life. I mourn the “normal eyes” I used to have. But at this point, my eyes have improved so I try to stay positive.

When I get sad about it – my eyes feel worse! Unfortunately, there is no remedy that works for everyone; it’s so individual. I was very discouraged when serum tears irritated my eyes; I had hoped they would be my cure!

I’ve written a lot about my dry eye journey. There’s probably a lot to sift through but here’s a link to my stories of coping. If it helps you, then I feel great! I haven’t written a recent update, but the good news is that it doesn’t look like I have glaucoma on top of dry eyes!



Thanks, Judy!!! Will review. Glad glaucoma not an issue – always hopeful.

Posted on July 7, 2015

Judy, just read some of your blog. Had to stop after awhile due to eye pain. You are amazing!!! Your story is just what I was looking for here: someone who has been thru the fire and survived! I’m still going thru grief stages and blame myself for having more surgery than I needed. You are very gifted
.

Things I loved doing: reading and going to movies. Next to impossible for now. Biggest sadness: unable to do things with my kids and grandkids. I feel so much guilt over burden I am for husband.

Posted on July 8, 2015

Thanks to Judy’s encouragement, I went to a movie all by myself today!!!!! Doesn’t sound like a big deal but it was.


Of course it was a big deal! You made my day, Carol. I’m so glad if I could make a difference. I believe it’s very important to try to distract ourselves from the pain rather than dwell on it. Nothing could be harder. The saddest part of this disease is how isolating it can be.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#20 SEARCHING FOR A REMEDY

Posts on my Dry Eye Support Group Site

 July 25, 2014

Hi everyone. I wanted to post an update about my condition. I had been using hormone replacement therapy (pills) and a testosterone eyelid cream for three months. Well, it didn’t help my dry eyes and the doctor said I could stop. In fact, the eyelid cream burned my eyes all the time. I will soon be getting serum tears and pray they will give me relief.

But yesterday at my appointment, my cornea specialist did something else. She used a fine needle like tool to unclog the oil glands in my upper and lower lids. Then she squeezed my eyelids. It wasn’t pleasant. My eyes were sore after, but I think it did help a little. She said the oil that came out was very thick, too.

I’m still using Restasis, eyelid wipes and hot compress. Those things don’t seem to do much.

The worst thing about this condition for me is depression. I don’t want to live this way for the rest of my life and it gets me down. So I try to stay hopeful and will certainly share how those serum tears work once I get them.

November 29, 2014

Just last week, I had to go off Doxycycline. I was having terrible pain in one leg and it became so bad that for two weeks I could hardly walk at all. I had an MRI and went to a chiropractor, but am convinced it was a side effect from the Doxy. I stopped taking it and the pain went away. It’s one thing to try a remedy and have it not work – another thing to suffer from it. Unfortunately, when I used serum tears – my eyes were much worse. I am not going to list all the remedies I’ve tried, but you are all familiar with them on this site.

Ever look for something and later you realize it was right there in front of you but you didn’t see it? Well that’s the best way I can describe something simple that seems to really help me. I’ve been drinking 10-12 glasses of water everyday.

I haven’t stopped searching. Although my eyes are better, they are not completely “normal.” That is something I always dream of having again someday.

June, 2015

I basically have surrendered to my condition. Stress causes my eyes to worsen, so I strive to keep my environment comfortable. Every day, my goal is to maintain serenity. Recently, I tried a few new remedies for my eyes, but found it discouraging when every single one caused my eyes to worsen.

Even though I have continued to drink water, my eyes still bother me and have worsened again.

I get depressed when I long for the eyes I had in the past. Acceptance and appreciation for what I’m able to do despite this, is where I’ve put my focus. It is not easy, but familiar – it reminds me of how I coped with grief. I have a strong belief that healing is possible. I tell myself on bad days that things will get better.

I never want to give up hope.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#15 MY JOURNEY IN SIGHT

This painting was a watercolor exercise I did over 30 years ago that became a terrific addition to my portfolio. Unfortunately, I never liked illustrating beverages.

Originally posted on September 21st, 2014:

It happened during an ordinary day. I was driving somewhere and suddenly I realized that my eyes didn’t hurt.

I blinked a few times and was so grateful that my eyes felt “normal.” Then I noticed how much better my vision was without the fog related to having dry eyes.

I was so happy that I began to cry. I whispered a thank you to God for this blessing.

Although I had some foggy and irritated sensations in my eyes later that day, whatever discomfort I experienced was manageable. Now I knew that my condition wasn’t going to be something that would torture me forever. My faith in healing was confirmed!

This gives me an opportunity to share some very old illustrations I painted for a hospital nutrition brochure back in 1984.

A few weeks ago I made a major commitment to follow a healthier path. I stopped eating whatever I felt like; I was so tired of beating myself up about it. 

I made healthier food choices and suddenly, everything started tasting better – even an apple was more enjoyable than the chocolate I used to snack on.

Which one would you rather have? Seriously, I am choosing the apple because I have made a commitment to get healthy! (These are illustrations of mine)

I joined a YMCA and began swimming laps a few times a week. On the other days, I fit in a half-hour walk. I continued to play tennis, and went from once to twice a week. 

All of this certainly helped my mood but I wasn’t sure if it was going to help my eyes. 

But then my eyes began to improve. Because I always hear my lyric lines running through my life, I share with humor one that came to mind with my first huge change. The words in my head were: “My life became clear.”

It was because I started drinking a lot of water!

I’m not sure how many glasses I gulped down exactly, but it definitely totaled over the recommended 8-10 glasses a day. I gave up the iced tea with a lot of artificial sweetener, which was certainly not very good for my body either.

Only the week before, I had gone to my hypnotherapy appointment with a stack of pages related to dry eyes. I told Connie (my hypnotherapist) they were sent to me by a wonderful woman who had reached out to me. Her name was Judi, and she was the leader of a dry eye support group. I wished her group meetings were closer because unfortunately the group met about 2 hours away from where I lived.

Connie glanced at the many pages I stuck in front of her. She pointed to one of them and said, “It says right here that drinking water is very helpful for dry eyes.” She paused and then said emphatically, “You know, drinking water might not only help your eyes; it’s beneficial for weight loss and your overall health.”

Connie pointed to a metal bottle filled with water right there next to her. She shared how she worked hard to drink a lot of water every day.

I listened and my mind was open to it. Why not? I left that appointment and made a commitment to Connie that I’d try to drink a lot more water.

During that next week, drinking water became my new habit.

I was running to the bathroom a lot and it made me think of a poem I had written with a new title. Instead of “My Tears Filled an Ocean,” my new poem was “My Pee Filled an Ocean!”

Okay, so my illustration might not be water exactly.

It was a beautiful summer morning. A week had passed and I was so excited to see Connie for our appointment. I couldn’t wait to share with her how much my eyes had improved. In addition to drinking a lot of water, I had done another remedy at night that Judi had recommended. I will share more about that on my next post.

I’m not really missing the iced tea and artificial sweetener I used to drink all day long.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.