#36 FEATHERS IN MY EYES

Living with my dry eye condition is hard to really describe. Like the ocean, it ebbs and flows. Like the moon, it waxes and wanes.

Metaphors, metaphors – somehow they help me explain what is unexplainable. And that has led me to describe the discomfort that I currently live with as “feathers in my eyes.” That is definitely an improvement over when my condition began. I’m not describing a spider stinging me anymore, which is up there on my blog header.

When I am having a better day, the feathers in my eyes brush lightly. They aren’t really painful, but they are definitely distracting and annoying.

And it’s even possible to have a day that is “decent” and also “terrible.” My eye condition can change abruptly for the worse. One moment, the feathers become harsh and painful. My eyes are burning and foggy and the discomfort doesn’t even stop when my eyes are closed.

When I’m outdoors and with people, if I’m having a tough day with my eyes I will cry easily. I feel depressed about life in general. If I am at home, I feel safer. If my eyes are hurting I will simply go to sleep.

Since I developed my dry eyes in 2012 after cataract surgery, I’ve gained a lot of weight. Eating takes away some of my pain, and unfortunately that has left me with the pain of being overweight, in addition to my eye pain.

When my eyes are hurting, there hasn’t been any remedy that has taken away my pain significantly. I thought that a steroid eye drop was the answer, but now it has dawned on me. What stopped my pain wasn’t the eye drop. It was when I stopped doing all the remedies: the eyelid wipes, the artificial tears and the hot compresses. It was a coincidence that I used the steroid eye drop at that time. So less is more continues for me.

I saw my dry eye doctor last week. She seemed detached and frustrated for me at the same time. I would have liked more compassion. She had no ideas to help me and reminded me that I was the only patient that didn’t benefit from the Thermoflo treatment. I did know that wasn’t true because the nurse said that there was someone else.

Two years ago, she was willing to try anything I asked for and I could write a long list of all the medications she has prescribed for me. But now, it seemed like there wasn’t anything left for me to try.

The greater truth was that I didn’t want to try anything because my eyes are so sensitive. Last month, I did try a new allergy drop. Within a few minutes, my eyes were foggy and irritated. All of the allergy tests I was given at that appointment came back negative, so for now the “allergy road” isn’t one I will continue to go down for answers.

Of course, I haven’t given up. I have a few other ideas of things I want to try and plan to share them on this blog. But I’m resting now to gather my emotional strength again to reach that place.

One thing I have realized, is that the depression over my eyes is something I am so tired of wrestling with. There was a day last week – ironically it was the day when I saw my eye doctor. As I waited to see her, my eyes were filled with painful feathers. I thought I had an infection from rubbing my eyes, because the burning was so intense.

I left that appointment in tears – filled with confusion. My doctor told me everything looked fine and had no ideas to help me. I was glad nothing was wrong, but still I was on my own with this pain.

Later that day after resting, I decided to push myself to go out for the evening. I noticed my eyes were not painful and I was able to ignore the feathers. I was proud of myself and was amazed how I had the ability to rise beyond my eye condition.

The realization from this was that when I focused on my pain – it threw me completely down. The ability to focus on other things that were good in my life helped me tremendously.

Letting go of the pain is something I’m always working on. The fight subsides when I look away from it, and instead look at better parts of my life that I am grateful for despite this condition.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#34 THE ALLERGY DOCTOR

With my eye condition, I have found that it takes time to reflect and figure out what to do next. Like any journey, sometimes I will just camp out for a while and stay right where I am.

I know that moving forward at some point is still important. I want to stay hopeful about finding a place where my eyes aren’t at the forefront of my mind because of the discomfort.

In February, an outside doctor told me that my inflamed eyelids were a result of an allergy. From that point forward, he had little advice for me. For three months, I wondered what to do with that information other than stop all of my regimens.

When I was able to get the exact steroid drop from my regular doctor – the one that seemed to make a difference (Durezol), I was disappointed. My eyes didn’t feel wonderful like they did when I had used it three months earlier. Overall, they were still better, though.

I made a connection. Perhaps it wasn’t the steroid eye drop that helped. Instead, just stopping the regimen of eyelid wipes, artificial tears and compresses made the difference. Those very things were the irritants, and that was why I found relief.

I did ask my regular doctor for an appointment for allergy testing. I waited two months for an appointment. I contacted him to find out why it was taking so long and it turned out that he had simply ordered blood tests. The next day I had my blood drawn. He told me if I wanted to see an allergy specialist, it was a self-referral.

All of the results were normal. I was glad, but it gave me no answers. I called to make an appointment with an allergy doctor. There was a cancellation and I scheduled an appointment for the next day.

When I met the allergy doctor, he seemed kind and thoughtful. I told him my reasons for exploring an allergy were due to my irritated eyelids. I mentioned that I also had an outbreak of hives recently.

He prescribed an allergy eye drop (Olopatadine). It was safer than using a steroid drop. I had concerns, though, because I heard that it could dry my eye out even more.

Then this doctor ordered much more involved blood tests. He didn’t think scratch testing would yield as much information. He said he wanted to cover a lot of possible dust mite allergies. And he wanted to retest me for Sjogren’s, even though I was negative two years earlier. It seemed like my issues could be autoimmune.

Only a few days before, I ordered special pillowcases that were dust-mite proof. I decided I would get the mattress cover once the tests came back.

This new road I am following perhaps will lead me to some relief. I will share more once I get results.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#32 WAS IT RASH TO TRY STEROIDS?

A week after my eyes were feeling better, I developed an outbreak of hives. I was itching and miserable. Anytime I didn’t feel well, my eyes were affected. But I stayed as positive as I could.

Gradually the itchy welts subsided. The Manuka honey eye drops named Optimel arrived and only a few drops irritated my eyes. I stopped after two days.

At this point, I offered the expensive Manuka drops to anyone interested in trying them in my dry eye support group. I also offered several boxes of artificial tears and eyelid wipes. I shipped them off to two different people and received effusive thank you messages. It felt good to help others by sharing something I wasn’t going to use. I didn’t accept any money for postage.

My eyes were still better doing less. I didn’t miss compresses or eyelid wipes. Sometimes I longed for an artificial tear to wet my eyes. But I knew that it wouldn’t help at all and would make my irritation worse.

The sample bottles with steroids were eventually all used up. The Alrex and Lotemax had little effect, unlike the Durezol. I was on a new path of doing nothing for my eyes. It wasn’t perfect, but far improved.

I was worried that my eye pressure might have increased. The soonest appointment for me to see my ophthalmologist was in 3 months. I decided to go see an optometrist. I’d be able to check my eye prescription and find out my eye pressure at the same time. Another idea I had, was to try soft contact lenses.

The optometrist was friendly and my eye pressure was not any higher. My eye prescription had changed again so I ordered two new pairs of glasses.

Adjusting to soft contact lenses was more challenging than I expected. I had worn hard lenses until my cataract surgery – for almost forty years.

The soft lenses weren’t painful, but putting them in and taking them out was stressful and required a lot of patience. The problem was the prescription didn’t work well for me. I couldn’t seem to adjust to powerful vision in the distance and blurriness up to five feet in front of me. The optometrist gave me many samples to try (I’m still trying.)

Three months later, I finally saw my regular dry eye doctor. I asked her for the one steroid drop that had helped me, Durezol. It was not available through my HMO, so she prescribed something else and said it was almost the same thing, Prednisolone Acetate.

After two days using the Prednisolone, my eyes didn’t feel better at all. I experienced tunnel vision. And then I broke out in a rash like I had three months earlier. Was it possible a steroid eye drop could cause this? It seemed so unlikely, but at the same time it was very coincidental.

I looked into side effects for Prednisolone and didn’t see anything about a rash – it seemed pretty far-fetched, but tunnel vision turned out to be a possible side effect.

And Prednisolone had an irritating preservative in it, one that Durezol didn’t have. I called my doctor and she was willing to prescribe Durezol. I was happy until I was told it would cost $140 for that bottle. I let my doctor know the cost and she said I wouldn’t have to pay that thankfully – my HMO would cover it with an exemption.

I used it sparingly and decided to stop when I made the connection to having the rash. It took a few days for me to realize the coincidence.

It was so frustrating. I was scratching my welts and wishing I could use the Durezol to help my eyes feel better. I didn’t want to use it until the rash was gone. I was also eating too much. It helped me cope in many ways but depressed me even further.

I contacted my regular doctor and asked if he could order blood tests to see if anything was wrong with me. The tests all came back negative; my doctor told me everything was ok.

I sure didn’t feel okay and wondered what to do next.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#31 LESS IS MORE

The relief that I felt after my appointment with a new eye specialist surprised me. I had low expectations and little hope. I had only made this appointment because my cousin pushed me. I had called her and cried when she asked me how my eyes were. She insisted her doctor could help me. My cousin’s eye doctor was far away and referred me to this new one.

Initially, I was a little anxious to use steroid eye drops that the new doctor gave me. In the past, one caused a bad reaction. Plus, an eye doctor I had seen a year earlier suspected that I had Glaucoma. I hoped I wasn’t doing anything risky since steroid drops could increase eye pressure. But I trusted this new doctor and planned to follow up having my pressures checked. The soonest appointment with my regular HMO eye specialist was in three months, unfortunately.

Until then, I was so thrilled that my eyes weren’t aggravating me throughout the day. I wanted to shout out with elation, “I am cured!!!” Unfortunately, it wasn’t like that. I was aware of them still, even though they were so much better overall.

I let the new doctor know that I had found improvement. Of the three steroid samples he gave me, only one really helped. It was called “Durezol.” The other two were Lotemax and Alrex.

He told me that Durezol was the strongest and that his suspicions were confirmed. I did indeed have an allergy. I asked him, “How do I know what I’m allergic to?” His response was that I was the best judge of that.

When the Durezol bottle ran out, I had a few bad days. I was discouraged but not hopeless anymore. I emailed the doctor to update him and to ask him for advice on what to do next, but he didn’t reply.

I longed for artificial tears but avoided them. I still continued to use Restasis but noticed that with the momentary relief of any eye drop (including Restasis), within a short time my eyes began to burn and hurt. The eyelid wipes that I had relied on were actually one of the worst irritants for my eyes.

Eventually, I called and reached the doctor a week later. I told him my suspicions – I was allergic to the wipes and all eye drops. I asked him what to use to wipe my eyes instead and he recommended baby shampoo. I tried his recommendation of Clariton, but wasn’t really sure if it made a difference or not. On days where my eyelids felt more inflamed, I took Clariton.

I began to learn that there was a difference between my dry eye pain and eyelid pain. The dry eye pain was something I felt every morning when I woke up. I had stopped using gel at night because I realized that the gel also affected my eyelids. Thankfully, with blinking my morning dry eye pain went away.

It was the eyelid pain that really drove me crazy. I felt sensations in my eyes, burning and heaviness – almost like I had stickers on my eyelashes.

I can tell that my eyes are feeling better because I am able to open them more.

This was definitely a twist for me after feeling hopeless. For over a year, I had given up on finding a doctor or remedy that would save me. But really, I was seeking answers and trying things again – so I had saved myself!

And this was definitely an example of “less is more,” a concept that fits into so many areas of my life.

It turns out that my friend Carol also realized the same thing about her regimen, which I shared on my last post. Her eyes were feeling better as a result of doing less. It was so ironic that we both reached the same conclusion around the same time. Sadly for Carol, the revelation of this came after being hospitalized. She had had a bad reaction to medication that was life threatening. How upsetting is was that trusting a doctor and medication could end up being risky instead of helpful.

The paleo diet I had adopted for three months hadn’t made a significant difference, but at least it hadn’t harmed me at all. Much of it was healthier. I eased back into a less restricted diet, but still avoided coffee and artificial sweeteners on a regular basis. So many of the remedies I had tried had hurt my eyes. Now it made sense. My eyelids were so sensitive and affected by every remedy I’d tried.

I had another one in my back pocket, though. I had ordered Optimel eye drops and they were coming from Australia. They were made from Manuka honey and I was willing to try them.

It was a great thing for me to have hope again!

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#30 Judy and Carol

Just a handful of some of the supplements I was taking to help my dry eyes. Unfortunately, they didn’t do much for me.

I have shared many posts of my correspondence with Carol, a good friend I made through my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. 

Even though our common topic was our eyes and adjusting to discomfort, we supported each other through other things, too. Carol was anxious to hear how my appointment went with a new eye specialist last month. 

I didn’t expect much from my appointment. I wrote to her my impressions when I came home:

Hi Carol,

While I was waiting for the doctor I asked the assistant if he was a dry eye specialist. Turns out he was a general eye doctor. I had requested a dry eye specialist referral, so I was a little disappointed. Still, he was relatively inexpensive compared to the other outside doctors I’ve gone to. So if it didn’t work out, I was only out $150.

This doctor was kind and very nice. He said that I don’t have typical dry eye – but he said my eyelids were severely inflamed, however. None of my doctors have ever explained that. He said I didn’t have blocked glands, Blepharitis, conjunctival chalasis, incomplete blinking or demodex mites.

He prescribed some steroid drops for me to try. He gave me three different strengths and said to try one each week and slowly the dose would get weaker. After that, he wanted me to try taking Clariton – it seems he thinks it’s more of an allergy. He gave me all of the medication (the were samples), which was nice, too. I am hopeful that maybe this will help me! It sure feels great to have some hope again.

If this fixes it, I’ll wonder why I had to suffer for 3 years. But not really – I just want to feel better. He did tell me not to use artificial tears so much. I was using them every hour.

A few days later, I wrote again to share:

Good morning, Carol. I am elated to feel some improvement – I think the steroid drops are helping with my discomfort. It’s not normal/perfect or anything, but that slight difference is wonderful and I’m hoping it will continue to get better.

It’s ironic, but my other dry eye doc had given me some steroid drops that I never used because of a bad reaction I had to one in the past.

I feel like this time, the doctor seemed more aware of things and I was willing to trust him.

I do think I made my problem much worse by using so many artificial tears. It was a vicious cycle.

My friend was very happy for me and supportive. But not long after my appointment, Carol wrote to me that she was very sick and going to the hospital. Her problem was “low sodium levels.” She told me she would write later on and I anxiously awaited hearing from her. She lived across the country from me. I was her email buddy, but how would I know if she were okay? I was worried.

Finally, I received a message from her.

Hi Judy,

Back home yesterday afternoon but not feeling so great today. Curiously, eyes felt OK while I was in hospital and had only Restasis Monday morning early. Not even that Monday night as I didn’t get moved from ER to room until 10:30 pm so had none of my typical meds, compresses, lid wipes, etc. during the stay.  Didn’t even shower from early Monday until I got home yesterday afternoon as I had all the cardiac monitor wires attached plus IV catheter stuck in arm for whatever.  It makes me wonder if I overdo the eye drops, cleaning, compresses, etc. Even my vision is clearer. So I know what you mean about that, too.

Wow, Carol – you had so much going on. Do you know what was wrong? You didn’t say much at all about it and I imagine you probably hate even talking about it. When I took care of my mom, she had a few hospitalizations from “electrolyte imbalance.” I remember her sodium levels were low. I could tell something was wrong because she became very disoriented. It sounds awful.

It is interesting about being off the regimen and feeling better. I am not using any more artificial tears; they made my problem worse. It’s horrible to think that the very regimen we use to help ourselves could cause problems!

Hi, Judy,

It turns out that the medication the urologist put me on to help control so many urges to urinate at night can severely deplete sodium. When he prescribed it, I asks specifically about concerns using it and he said “it is given to kids to control bedwetting” indicating to me it is harmless. I looks it up online and I did see it can deplete sodium but I eat plenty of salt so thought no more of it. Apparently it doesn’t work quite like that.

When I felt terrible on Monday, and by late Monday afternoon I felt like I was dying. Apparently the dying feeling wasn’t far off. Sodium level is “critical” and can lead to seizures and death.  Still not quite to normal and I still don’t feel great. So fed up with taking one step forward and thinking I am better then made to go 5 steps back and feeling it is hopeless. Ok, that is enough.

Aren’t you sorry you asked lol??!!

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

 

#28 Judy and Carol

I share my correspondence with my friend, Carol, from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

Judy, you have had such a rough time lately with your eyes. It causes everything to seem worse.  It’s only a little over a week until you go to a new eye doctor. I so hope that will give you a new direction. Seems like we are always trying something!!! (Or at least buying something to try.)

My eyes were not good Saturday, but fortunately I was able to keep them closed at my granddaughter’s concert. Anyway, I have no clue why, but my eyes were fairly good yesterday and life seemed almost normal. Who knows what today will bring.  That is one of the worst things about this disease; it keeps me on edge. But I am grateful to have good day; they are so rare.

Judy, I wonder how good Paleo is for you. Your emails actually sound worse since you have been on it.  Perhaps you could adjust it some more?? I asked a dietitian friend about coffee and she said a cup a day shouldn’t hurt. I have read so many benefits of coffee, too. But don’t do it if you really think it hurts you. Just sounds like you might need it.

I did decide to cut Diet Coke to my morning one that has caffeine in it. Switched from caffeine free diet to water rest if the day as I am concerned it may be bladder irritant that might be causing night-time issue. Have done that for a few days. Will see. Take care, Carol

Hi Carol, well, it’s good you’re trying new things – maybe something will help. Wouldn’t that be great? As far as a remedy setting me back, I’ve just learned to go slow in case something is irritating. I’m finding the coconut oil isn’t causing a problem, but it’s not curing my eye issues either, unfortunately.

I do notice that my mood seems to make the difference with overcoming the pain. Today I had a rough day – I was outdoors a lot running errands and it was windy and chilly. I closed my eyes as much as possible, but they are burning a lot right now. I pray tomorrow my eyes will be better.

I’m feeling less and less certain about Paleo – although I’ve been pretty good about following it. Today, I succumbed to an oatmeal raisin cookie while running those errands. It was so good – but I still haven’t had dairy, coffee or sweeteners.

Well, I better go put on my hot compress and go to bed. Wishing you a great eye day! Wish it could last and maybe one day it will.

Judy

Judy, the burning sounds bad. I keep having the “if only” thoughts like “if only fogginess would lift” or “if only foreign body sensation would stop” or the biggie “if only I hadn’t had the surgeries.” I know those are not productive thoughts, either.

Mood has a lot to do with it, but it’s easier said than done. Glad you are less weepy. I know I am having a better day if I don’t feel like bursting into tears all the time. I was never like this and miss being “normal” so much. I used to just go about life without thinking about my eyes.

My daughter emailed me photo of beach house they are renting for spring break and invited me along. I went with them a couple of years before my eye problem; such a fun time. Now it doesn’t seem possible to do anything like that. I can imagine feeling miserable and just wanting to be home. It would make everyone else miserable, so it’s better for me not to go.

Maybe you can adapt Paleo to suit your needs?? You have really stuck with it for the most part. I think cutting back on Diet Coke has helped me.  But life is too short to give up everything. And heaven knows eye issues have taken so much already.

Good morning, Carol. Yesterday was a gorgeous day. My eyes were foggy overall, and I was grateful that I had a few better moments where they didn’t hurt.

I had lunch with a friend and she told me that she could see that my eyes looked painful. I rested in the afternoon, but my eyes were still foggy. Today they are, too.

I feel sad for you with the decision about not going with your daughter and her family to the beach house. I wonder if you would be miserable? It seems like you’ve come so far with your eyes from where you started. It is much better than it was. If you follow your regimen there (a pain in the a…) I imagine it would still hold wonderful times for you. The thought of missing it feels sadder to me. I don’t think you would make anyone else miserable – they would be so grateful having you there. And who knows – maybe your eyes would feel great at the beach because of the moisture. Just giving you something to think about. Have a good eye day!

Judy, it is sad to miss beach with daughter and family but I would rather have the good memories of having gone in the past. Hope you have a better day.

Oh, Carol, I am trying hard again to stay positive – I had such a bad day yesterday.

I was really looking forward to seeing two good friends of mine for dinner. But my eyes were very foggy and sore. I put a little coconut oil on the lids before going out in hopes that it would soothe me. Unfortunately, it blurred my vision and I had trouble finding the restaurant where I was supposed to meet my friends.

I was frustrated, but found some parking and had to walk a few blocks. It was so stressful. Even though I was upset, I was still managing as best I could despite my eye pain.

I finally saw the restaurant but had to climb a flight of stairs. I guess with the fogginess I didn’t pay attention and my shoe caught on the first step. I fell forward and landed on the steps, but not too hard. My knees were scraped and chin throbbed. Several of my fingers were twisted but not broken. I sat there and cried for a few minutes – no one saw me in the darkness. Finally, I picked myself up and met my friends. Most of the dinner I was teary and my friends were very worried about me.

My eyes take all of my energy to cope and it leaves little left for coping with everything else. I’ve dealt with much harder things than my current situation. But my eye problem just overwhelms me and I’ve never been in a situation where I’m physically so down that I cannot mentally overcome it.

Today, I’m very sore but thankful I can bend my fingers enough to still type. I was so lucky I didn’t break anything.

Judy

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#27 Judy and Carol

I share my correspondence with my friend, Carol, from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

I’m not having such a great day – one of those “burning, stinging” days and trying to blink out that foreign body that cannot be blinked out. But I am thinking of your role modeling and trying hard to stay diverted. I’m feeling really down today because my daughter and two grandkids went on vacation and if I weren’t dealing with this eye mess, I would have been with them.


I am sorry that you weren’t able to go with your daughter. One day, you will feel better and when that day comes and you are “out and about,” it will be fantastic for you. Keep reminding yourself that will happen. Our mind is very powerful and can influence outcomes. Keep trying things. I am doing that, too. It is very important. Just came back from singing – so all is well for me. My eyes are a bit foggy and weird, but I hardly noticed them as much. So I’m very happy about that!

Your positive approach is an inspiration. I thought the dry eye group was a lifeline when I first found it. But I see how so many people have been struggling for so long and trying every possible way to deal with this horrible problem that won’t go away. I find that very discouraging. I have an appointment today with a dry eye specialist. I don’t expect a miracle now and only a few months ago I thought this would heal.

I think it is important to hear success stories to maintain hope. Attitude goes a long way toward healing. I like to think when something comes; it can leave the same way. I’ve had other conditions in my life that were probably stress-related (psoriasis, colitis) and they went away. It’s baby steps and you just keep trying things! Please let me know how your appointment goes.

You are right that success stories are good. Yesterday at my appointment, I had a Lipiflow treatment – it felt good while it was being done, but it was pricey. I was given a prescription for Restasis, and will try it. We are willing to try anything, aren’t we? I walked out of new doc’s office yesterday in tears. I’m still having had time accepting this happened to ME!! But why not me? I know that dark place. I keep going through the motions, but wonder if it is worthwhile if this never ends.

Thank you for updating me about your appointment. I remember so well going to my car to cry after doctor appointments. Why can’t doctors understand this kind of agony? It’s horrible and it does make us desperate.

I tried a new eye drop for a few weeks and it burned and didn’t help. (It was called Azasite, and it’s supposed to help Blepharitis symptoms). Then I used Cliradex wipes for the last few days (tree tea oil), which was another remedy the doctor thought would be worth trying. Today, my eyelids are burning so much and I’m in a lot of pain again. I hate trying things that make my eyes worse!

On my better days, the pain is manageable. I’ve accepted the fog and floaters. If I get depressed, then I am in more pain. I still hope there will be a cure for me someday. I pray you are feeling better and that something will get you to a better place. Hang in there – it will come.

I find it very depressing that life is passing me by. I am glad I didn’t develop this when I was much younger as some have. But feel it wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t had the surgeries I did. You know how that is.

Today was one of my worst eye days in a long time. I am feeling very teary for someone with dry eyes. So I get to vent to you – it’s my turn.

All day long, my eyelids ached and I was in pain with foggy vision. I have so many things I want to do, but it’s hard to concentrate. I am fighting and struggling to overcome it.

You left such a supportive comment on the dry eye site yesterday; it was to comfort someone who was desperate. No one would have known you had such a bad day; you are so kind.

Every comment I make to help someone else, is something I tell myself when I am discouraged. That’s why I know about encouragement. I’ve lived with a lot of heartache and it sure helps when I see things as temporary.

I am having a hard time emotionally today as it is exactly six months since I was healthy!! February of 2015 was when I had cataract surgery that sent me down this path. If I had only had some inkling but as you said, it is better to accept it. But I am still bogged down hating it more times than not and it does make me depressed.

After 3 years of managing, I am sure you have been there and mostly risen above. I sure hope so. The one positive is I “met” you!!! 
Hope, hope, HOPE!

Hi Carol, we need to take care of ourselves with this eye condition. Your last line says it all. Let’s never lose our hope.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

#24 Judy and Carol

I share my correspondence with my friend, Carol, from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

Judy, testosterone cream sounds awful!! A friend said she tried Restasis and it burned so badly, she stopped after 4 days! It is so expensive to try and that’s awful when it doesn’t help. I have not tried it and serum tears sound pretty awful too.

I must give you credit for getting me out in the car by MYSELF a today!! I saw a movie, which was just what I needed. I heard your voice telling me I should try because you said (and I paraphrase) that you feel better when you add diversion. It was true today for me and I thank you. You have truly been inspiring and so helpful!!

Carol, I am so happy you did this diversion of going to see an uplifting movie. It is absolutely amazing how our mind can help us feel better. Awesome!!!

Things that seem awful become tempting when you hear it could be a cure. And for serum tears, I had to travel really far to have the blood drawn. I still have vials of them in my freezer. I put in only a few drops and then my eyes swelled up and I couldn’t see well for days. It probably took me a month to feel better.

I use Restasis eye drops, but I don’t think they help at all. But I’m afraid to stop, because then my eyes might get worse.

I’m so glad I’ve been inspiring. Don’t give up hope and certainly it’s important to live your life despite this condition. Good job!

Yes, our mind can channel positively. I was in a deep dark hole, so you can understand how much you have helped me already. How awful for it to take a month to recuperate from those tears!!!!

I hate all the drops myself and sometimes they really seem to make me feel worse. Yet my eyes are dry, so I do what I am told by my doctor. Living life day by day has been challenging and sometimes hour by hour is difficult. Thank you for letting me “talk” and being so understanding.

I wish I had known more before I had cataract surgery that brought this condition upon me. I wouldn’t have done it knowing what I do now.

I’m so sorry you regret the surgery you had. Unfortunately, there are percentages and sometimes those rare complications happen to someone! I had cataract surgery; I also wish I were one of those people who loved the result.

I do realize rare complications do happen, but I just didn’t think it would happen to me!!! I had cataract surgery, too, but I also agreed to laser astigmatism correction. The lure of being able to see without glasses was too much to resist. I think that was the mistake, although no one will say. And to add insult to injury, I wasn’t totally corrected so I still have to wear glasses.

At least I am older. When I read comments from people in their 20s with eye miseries, I feel so bad for them. 
Again, thanks for all your support and information. You have been so much help.











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#23 Judy and Carol

I share my correspondence with my friend, Carol, from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

Losing a child must be the worst possible life event. You have had more than your share, yet your attitude seems so positive about facing challenges.

Finding strength when one feels so depleted and hopeless is very hard. Distractions probably do help as they get your mind focusing on something besides eye problem. This is still new to me: realizing it is chronic and won’t go away as I was originally led to believe.

I am happy to read yours don’t hurt as much as they once did. How long did that take? There are so many things to try yet so little seems to provide relief. Your mindset is a lot more positive than mine is now!! But your words and support do give some hope. Thanks, again, I really appreciate it









!

I’m still learning how to accept this condition. A wonderful woman also helped me when I was down.

I know you are just beginning this stuff. It’s one thing to try remedies with hope of relief, but for me, the hardest part was when those things made my eyes worse! I tried testosterone cream and it burned so much. I went on hormone replacement therapy that not only didn’t help, it made me even more miserable. The one thing I hoped would help were serum tears; they set me way back. I had a terrible reaction from Doxycycline, too.

But I feel like I have to keep trying things in order to discover something that might help.

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

 

 

 

 

 

#22 Judy and Carol

In July of 2015, I started to correspond with Carol. She was a new friend from my on-line Dry Eye Support Group. Her words are in blue.

Judy, I really appreciate your blog! It has a lot of helpful information, as well as some hope. Thanks and best wishes.

Carol, you have no idea how much that means to me. I look forward to reading more about what you have gone through. It is definitely one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with and I’ve gone through some other tough stuff in my life.

Judy, your writings have helped me think I may make it through yet another bad day when there have been so many days I want to give up. This is such a tough situation to cope with and I am just beginning to realize I will NOT have life as I knew it back. Since you are three years out from the beginning it really does hold out some hope. But it will be a hard struggle. Thank you so much for sharing your story and experiences and I hope that you do very well!! You are so talented!!!

Thank you, Carol. I’ve come through losing a child and realizing that my life would never be the same after that. There’s nothing good about these life adjustments except to find the strength to get through them.

For me, dry eyes have left me very vulnerable and depressed. I’m a big believer that thoughts equal feelings. So I’ve worked hard to think in a positive way. First off, you are not alone. I never like the thought that “it could be worse.” But I have come to see that I am very blessed that I am able to still drive and do my work. My eyes blur, fog and hurt – but I’ve become much better at distracting myself from that.

My goal is to find joy in life despite this condition. My eyes are not like they were before my surgery, but like scars I carry – it doesn’t hurt as much as it once did.

Keep searching for your remedy. It’s there – never give up. I know that one woman in our group was in horrible pain and now is okay. She found a diet that helped her. Something that really helped me was to drink a lot of water. I also use Genteal gel when I go to sleep.

I’ve tried so many things and plan to keep searching. It’s so discouraging when things set me back – it’s a risk I deal with since my eyes are so sensitive.

But mindset makes the biggest difference!

© Judy Unger and http://dryeyediaries@wordpress.com 2016. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Judy Unger with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.